


Social Experiment

by TheKiwiBird



Series: R.P.M. Archives [1]
Category: Power Rangers R.P.M.
Genre: Gen, Mall Trip, Platonic Female/Male Relationships, Post-"Ranger Green" and pre-"Doctor K", Slapstick, Wordcount: around 5.500, Ziggy is the whole Orphanage's wacky uncle, tagged teen for some mild adult-flavored comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-05-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24139966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheKiwiBird/pseuds/TheKiwiBird
Summary: Ziggy attempts to aid Dr. K with socially integrating via a trip to the mall. Turns out they both need a little social polishing.
Series: R.P.M. Archives [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1745590
Kudos: 12





	Social Experiment

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pterakyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pterakyn/gifts).



> So this piece is incredibly old (at least seven years!), and I dug it out of my archives after a bit of light prodding/encouragement by my writing broski, Pterakyn. It has a sibling fic that will be up in full soon, and I'll be putting all my RPM stuff together in a bundle soon enough!
> 
> This was originally only posted on a singular message board, never on a fanfic site. This is more or less the same fic that appeared there, with a few editings done overall (between file type conversion scrambling some things, and a few little edits to make things that made absolutely no sense make a slight bit more sense). 
> 
> So please enjoy, I apologize if it's not as smooth as stuff I've written more recently.

“You do know that we’re inside now, right? You can take that hood off.” 

“You don’t need to point that out. I'll take my hood down if I feel like it." 

"Just wondering if you knew...people are starting to follow us around." 

"I don't care. It wasn't my plan to come here and converse with anyone besides you, and I don't even want to do that. This was your idea, not mine." 

"But you agreed to it! One whole hour, outside the garage, with me, in the mall!" 

"Not the smartest idea, but I wouldn't expect a smart idea from you." 

Ziggy stopped on the second floor staircase and just stared at Dr. K as she continued down, not realizing that he wasn't next to her. It was only when she went to snark about his sudden silence at the bottom of the staircase that she noticed he was standing silently somewhere in the middle. As she looked back, most of the people around her looked away, as if trying to clear themselves of the guilt of staring at her in the first place. 

"Why did you stop moving?" She called up to Ziggy. 

"Just...nothing." He sighed and walked down next to her. 

"What?" 

"Nothing just..." He walked in front of her and looked her in the eyes. "Do you always have to tell me I'm stupid?" 

"Maybe if I tell you enough times, you'll change and become an effective member of Project Ranger. Reverse psychology works wonders, they say." 

"It wouldn't hurt to be nice and act like a regular person; I mean, that's why I brought you here in the first place." 

"I said I'd come to the mall with you, but I never said I'd be nice about it. What if Venjix attacks and I'm not there to help the others?" 

"Then somebody will call me, and we'll both go back." 

"What if the bus at the bus stop isn't going in the right direction? What if there isn't even a bus waiting for passengers at all?" 

Ziggy frowned for a moment, then quickly thought of an answer. "...We can run there." 

"I don't do running." 

"First time for everything." 

"...Right." Dr. K rolled her eyes. "Now, where are we going? Or are we just going to walk around without buying anything?" 

"It's all up to you. You look around, you look for a shop you like. I'm merely here as a bodyguard." 

"...I don't need a bodyguard." 

"Well, then, I can be the guy you ask if something looks nice on you, then." 

"I can make that decision for myself." She coldly replied, walking past him. 

"Hey! Wait up!" 

\-----

He caught up to her and saw that she was looking at a mall directory. "If you want to be useful, you can tell me what some of these stores are." 

"Sure, no problem! I can do that." 

"Surprising." She looked down the list and pointed out a store to him. His eyes widened as he saw the name. "What is that store?" 

"It's a..." He tried to put together words to form a sentence, but his nervousness was growing by the second. "It's a...nice store for girls...to buy clothes at." 

"Oh, so it's a clothing store?" 

"Yes!" 

"What's wrong?" 

"I...usually don't go to girls-only stores, that's all!" 

"Oh. Are you afraid?" 

Ziggy shrugged off his nervousness as quickly as he could. "No! No. I'm fine. Just surprised that it was your first pick, that's all." 

"Uh huh..." Dr. K nodded. "Let's go there first, then." 

\-----

Dr. K's eyes widened as she looked inside from the doorway. "It's...a lingerie store." 

"I told you it was a girl's store!" 

She turned around and glared. "You didn't say it was a lingerie store!" 

"Does it really matter?" 

"Yes, it does!" 

"You don't like lingerie?" 

"There's no point for it!" She crossed her arms and looked back in. 

"Well, you could get a new bra or some nice pant-" 

"I'm going in myself." She walked in, quickly disappearing into a back room. 

"Pointless, she says. But she just waltzes right in..." Ziggy sat down on a bench nearby and waited, sighing. 

A minute or two went by, and Ziggy's attention was drawn by a scream that was familiar. 

A group of girls crowded around one little blonde girl whom Ziggy recognized from the orphanage, a girl a few years younger than him named Rachel. The crowd was about thirty feet away, but he could hear what was being said. 

"I told you, I just bought a pair of shoes, Megan." Rachel protested. 

"Then we'll take the shoes. Are they size 6's?" The lead girl, who was obviously Megan, replied. 

"I need these shoes! They're not for me, they're for somebody at home." 

"You still owe us $5 in lunch money. We'll take the shoes as insurance." Another girl piped up. Ziggy scooted further towards the girls on the bench, reluctantly staying put. 

"She needs them tomorrow, but I won't have another $5 until Monday!" 

"Well then she'll have to come and get the shoes herself then, won't she?" Megan replied, making the other girls giggle maliciously. One of the other girls in the group took the bag with the shoes out of Rachel's hands. 

Ziggy stood up and walked over. "Hey!" The girl gang's members all turned to look at Ziggy, making him jump slightly. "Yeah! Yeah, you girls! Give the little girl back her shoes, or you'll be in big trouble!" He continued scolding as he approached them. 

Dr. K poked her head out of the lingerie shop for a moment and raised an eyebrow, then decided to continue watching. "Maybe he's getting better after all..." 

"Miss? Are you going to buy these?" The cashier called out. 

"Yes, but I don't want them in one of those bags. I want something I can put in my coat pocket." She snipped as she ducked back in. 

"Just give the girl back her shoes and none of you'll get hurt!" 

The girls looked Ziggy over as if to say he was crazy. "Yeah? You and what army?" 

Ziggy frowned and walked over to the girl holding the shoes, trying his best to look intimidating. He reached out for the shoes, but the girl quickly pulled them away and stamped down on his foot. He winced and reached out again, and the girl tossed it to another girl in the group. They giggled as Ziggy rushed back and forth between three different girls. The bag eventually end up in Megan's hands, and they gave a collective and victorious "humph" as they began to walk away. 

"Thank you for trying, Ziggy..." Rachel replied. 

He gave her a crazed look. "Those're for your sister, right? For her dance recital tomorrow?" 

"...Yeah." 

"And you're going to let those jerks take your shoes?" 

"I owe them money from the lunch line last week." 

"Why'd you take money from them? You know they're trouble!" 

"I didn't want Sara to go hungry. She's been forgetting her money a lot lately." 

"...Oh. Well...you just stay right here." 

He pulled a five dollar bill from his wallet was approached the girls. "Here. Give me back the shoes." 

The girls turned around, and Megan looked at the bill with contempt. "Excuse me?" 

"The girl owes you five bucks, so just take it and gimme back the shoes." 

Megan grinned and snatched the bill from his hands, then turned around and began walking towards the central fountain. It took Ziggy a few seconds to process that she obviously wasn't giving the shoes back to him. 

"Hey!" 

"What now?" Megan asked, turning around alongside the rest of her gang. 

"I gave you the money, so give me those shoes." 

"No." Megan replied, looking disgusted that he'd make such a request. "Our Idiot Tax is $5, so buzz off." 

"That's robbery!" 

"No, it's Idiot Tax. If you want these shoes, you'll give us another $5." 

"No, I gave you the money she owed, and now you're trying to shake me down. You can't fool me; I used to do this stuff for a living." 

"Oh really?" The girls laughed. "So you're a cartel guy, huh?" 

Ziggy gave a tough look and adjusted his collar. "Yeah, yeah, that's me. So, just gimme the shoes, and I won't call my partner over to finish what I started with ya." He crossed his arms and puffed his chest out. 

The girls all simultaneously laughed, and Ziggy promptly deflated and got nervous. "You don't think I'm serious...?" Ziggy nervously queried. His eyes focused on the bag, which was eerily close to him. He grabbed the bag, and Megan yanked back, pulling both of them into the fountain. 

Megan let go of the bag, and Ziggy yanked it towards himself. Megan's eyes widened, and she looked over at a guard who was idly standing nearby, oblivious to the scene. "HELP! THIEF!" 

Ziggy looked over at the guard, who was now paying attention to them, and panicked. A million thoughts raced through his head at once; one involved trying to talk his way out of the current situation, another involved giving the cop something to arrest him for by beating up Megan for being a snitch and a liar, but he went with his natural instinct: to run. 

He quickly got out of the fountain and turned around to run, evading the grasps of the rest of the girl gang. He grabbed Rachel and began tagging her along. "C'mon, Rachel, I have a plan." He replied, his eyes darting towards the lingerie shop. 

The two darted into the lingerie shop, surprising Dr. K. 

"I told you that-" She stopped yelling mid-sentence as she noticed Ziggy had completely bypassed her and began speaking to the cashier. 

"Listen, there're some girls who're looking to beat this girl up. Can she please just...hide behind the counter or something?" He pleaded. 

"...Sure." Rachel ducked behind the counter and Ziggy smiled before turning to face Dr. K. 

"What is going on?" She scolded. 

"We'll talk later. Just meet me at..." Ziggy began to think. "the bathrooms in the food court. Do you think you can find that by yourself?" 

"Of course I can. Are you..." She lowered her voice. "going to teleport there?" 

"I'm gonna try right now." 

"Well, I'll...I'll wait there for you. Goodness knows you'll end up somewhere else." 

Ziggy ducked into the dressing room just as the mall security officer ran into the lingerie shop. "Hey! Where'd that kid go?" 

Dr. K realized what was going on, and decided to not give a response. The last thing she needed was to bail him out of trouble for the second time this week. 

While the guard searched around, Dr. K looked back at the bottom of the dressing room door. A flicker of green light shot out under the door, then another, then silence. She sighed, pulled her hood back up, and walked out, making her way for the directory to figure out just where she was going. 

Ziggy opened his eyes and looked around. It was a bathroom stall, with a toilet, tile floors, a weird and somewhat nauseating smell in the air...he'd done it! He had successfully teleported to the location he was aiming for! Dr. K would be so proud of him, surely. He grinned and straightened his coat out, then left the stall. 

His eyes widened as he saw the girls fixing their make-up in front of the sinks. As soon as they spotted him, they shrieked. 

Ziggy held his hands up in defense, as if to keep them away from him. "Ladies! Ladies! Please! I can explain!...sort've!" 

Before he could react, the girls had seized him and tossed him out of the bathroom and through the door across the hall; the door to the men's room. 

He picked himself off the floor and dusted himself off, wincing from pain of the impact against the door. He walked out, to find Dr. K walking into the food court. She spotted him stumbling out of the men's room, and her eyes widened in awe. 

As she got closer to him, the look remained. "You...succeeded?" 

"Yup! Right where I was trying to go! Not a problem!" 

"So you're no longer a complete failure. But you're still a failure at everything else as a member of Project Ranger." Dr. K crossed her arms. "So, mind telling me what that was all about?" 

"They stole her shoes and tried to get money out've her for them back. So, I got the shoes back. And then the girl said I stole them from her." 

"Why did you do that? It's not your place to get involved." 

"She...she's a girl from the orphanage. Those girls have bullied and harassed every one of those girls for years. I...I couldn't just sit back and let them do it this time." 

Dr. K looked away, sighing. "Sometimes I wonder what goes on in that head of yours. Then I worry that I might hurt myself trying to understand you." 

"So, so you want to get to know me, then?" Ziggy gave a questioning look. 

"No." She turned away from him. 

"You just said you wondered-" 

"You're reading into it wrong." 

Ziggy grinned while she wasn't looking. As he leaned in towards her, she turned away, hiding her face. He saw the pink tissue paper wrappings in her cloak pocket and decided to strike up a conversation. "What'd you get?" 

"None of your business." 

"...Alright...um..." He looked around. "we're in a food court! Would you like to get a bite to eat?" 

"Why're you trying so hard to make conversation with me?" 

"Because that's what people do. People talk to each other. You and me, we're people." 

Dr. K sighed. "I don't eat this kind of food." 

"Ah, so you're the one with all the cereal bars and energy drinks." 

"I don't drink those energy drinks. I drink water. But if you must know, the oatmeal bars are mine." 

"See, now we're getting somewhere." 

"Where are we going next?" Dr. K queried, sounding annoyed. 

"I'm hungry, so I wanna eat here before shopping some more. You can sit down and relax if you want, or just run back to the store and buy more panties or something." 

"I didn't buy ‘panties’." 

"Oh? Then what did you get?" Ziggy perked up. 

"None of your business!" She scolded, turning away from him and stamping her foot. 

"...How old are you, really?" 

"That's not important." 

Ziggy sighed, sitting down at the nearest table. Dr. K walked over and sat across from him. 

"You talk too much. Maybe if you talked less and asked less meaningless questions, you'd be a better member of Project Ranger." 

"Just trying to get to know you better, that's all. I mean...a few days ago, I thought you were some creepy old dude in a box. Besides, would it hurt to know the people you work with?" 

"I'm attempting to keep this whole arrangement as impersonal as possible. You work with my technology, I teach you how to not break it while using all of its advanced features. You are insistent on making it as personal as possible. I only agreed to this because I knew it would make you focus more on your duties." 

"Well I thank you for doing so. I've had fun." 

Dr. K arched an eyebrow and gave him an incredulous look. "This is what you call ‘fun’?" 

A voice from across the food court cried out. "Hey! There he is!" 

Ziggy looked over and panicked as they ran towards him. "Okay, this part? Not fun." He jumped out of his chair, grabbing Dr. K's hand and pulling her out of her seat. 

"Why are you dragging me into this?" Dr. K shouted at Ziggy. 

"Because I don't know where I'm going, and I don't feel like scouring the mall to find you afterwards!" 

Dr. K sighed deeply as they began to run. "I don't do running..." 

They fled down to the first floor from the stairwell in the food court, and Ziggy helped Dr. K jump a high ledge to shake off the cop duo. As they began to run off, one of the two spotted them rounding the staircase and gave chase. 

They bounded down the corridor, then dove around into a narrow hallway and hid behind a stack of crates. Dr. K breathed heavily, drawing Ziggy's attention. 

"You are really out of shape." Ziggy softly commented. 

Dr. K turned her head and glared. "I thought I told you, I don't run. As a general rule, running is never an option to me." 

Ziggy nodded his head, then his eyes widened. "...Oh, I get it. It's a double entendre sort of thing; you don't like the act of physically running away from things, and you're saying you're not a coward." 

"...I guess you can say that." 

"I always pegged you to be the kind of person to run away from dangerous things." 

"Like you? No, I dislike hiding and cowering like you do." 

"...Is that why you hate me?" Ziggy's voice dropped to a more serious tone. 

"It doesn't help." Dr. K stated in a matter-of-factly manner. Ziggy just looked away and nodded. "...When you stood up for that girl earlier, I'll admit, I was impressed. You show promise, despite your affinity for failing miserably." 

"...I'll take that as a compliment." 

"Don't break your arm patting yourself on the back. You're far from even entry-level material, let alone real Ranger material." 

"A compliment's a compliment to me, Dr. K." Ziggy replied, grinning like an idiot. Dr. K looked away for a few moments. "So, we've been here long enough. I don't think they're coming back, so let's get going." 

The two got up and walked back around the corner, and Ziggy's arm was quickly seized by the guard from the fountain. "There you are." 

Dr. K took two steps away from him and watched the guard use his Venjix Tech detector wand on Ziggy. "Listen, that girl is a liar! She's the thief, if anything! She stole money from me, and, and, those shoes I had? They belonged to the girl that I ran with. Now please just let me go." 

Dr. K sighed deeply, feeling as if she'd regret her next move. She pulled her ID tag out of her cloak pocket and presented it to the guard. "I am a personal assistant of Colonel Truman's, and this person is with me. We're conducting a field study for low-grade security warnings and civilian protection in undercover operations to help combat Venjix infiltrators. As you can see, my test subject is failing spectacularly, and I apologize for any damage, emotional or monetary, that he has caused." 

The guard looked over the ID tag and scanned it, getting satisfaction in its readout. "Alrighty, Miss..." He checked her tag again. "Higgins, you check out." He handed her back her tag. "Okay, you two can go, but if either of you causes a scene, Colonel Truman will be getting a nice long call about how his test subjects are banned from the mall permanently." 

"Understood." Dr. K took her badge and began walking away. "Come. You've caused enough problems today." 

"Hey!" Ziggy exclaimed, catching up to her. He slowed down and walked beside her. "...Higgins?" 

"...What?" Her response sounded almost...defensive to him. 

"Your last name...is Higgins?" 

"And?" 

"Dr. K. Higgins. No ‘K’ in there. But then again, I suppose that if you're not a dude named Dr. K, I shouldn't be lead to believe that your last name starts with a K." 

"They called me Dr. K." 

"So...hmmm..." Ziggy continued thinking as they walked. "If it's not your last name...then it must be your first name!" Dr. K rolled her eyes. "Is it Kate? Karen?" He walked around her, getting no response. "Kassandra? ...Am I getting close?" 

"No." 

"I'll figure it out, just you wait." He grinned. 

"I won't hold my breath." 

Ziggy sighed and checked his watch. Only twenty minutes had passed since they had arrived at the mall. He didn't know what Dr. K wanted to do with the rest of the time, but his stomach was certainly pushing him to go eat. 

He looked up to find her sitting down, looking as if she were about to fall asleep. He walked over and sat down next to her. "Are you tired?" 

"Admittedly, yes. The running wore me out." 

"Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to go back up to the food court, because I'm starving, and...well, you could at least sit down up there instead of being all alone sitting here." 

Dr. K looked at him. "...Fine." 

"Want me to carry you upstairs? You can even mark it down as strength training." Ziggy tried to present his idea as a bonus. 

Dr. K sighed. "I guess it wouldn't hurt..." 

He got up in front of her, then crouched down. "What're you doing?" 

"I'm going to carry you on my back." 

"...Are you sure you can carry me like that...?" 

"I'm gonna carry you over to the escalator, then let you down for a bit, then carry you up to a table." 

"Sounds...challenging enough." 

"So go ahead and wrap your arms around my neck, and I'll pick you up from there." 

Dr. K sighed deeply and went through with his plan. Ziggy winced and grunted as he shook and stood up, hoisting her up off the bench. 

"...Are you sure you can handle this?" 

"You're not that heavy!" Ziggy replied. "Not...to say...you're fat or anything..." 

"Your strength is very subpar; I doubt you could lift half of me easily, let alone all of me. But this is your self-challenge, and although I do advise you to be safe for the sake of the team and of Corinth, I will not stop you from striving to improve your usefulness through weight lifting." 

"Good to hear...you care..." He slowly took one heavily labored step at a time towards the escalator. She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder as it began to grow heavy. 

She heavily inhaled, the scent of his toothpaste and aftershave intermingling, both smelling of different strains of mint leaves. Her mouth salivated at the sudden errant thought of after dinner mints, butter mints, mint-infused toothpicks, mint chocolate chip cookies... 

She sighed contentedly, trying to avoid the thoughts of pre-Venjix decadence but failing miserably. She was quickly jarred out of her reverie by the sensation of the ground shaking under her, and her eyes shot open. She looked up and around, as alert as she could be. She looked at Ziggy's face, which was staring at hers. 

"You can calm down; I just got us to the escalator." 

"...Oh." 

"What did you think happened?" 

"Nothing." She swallowed down the excess saliva in her mouth. "I'm feeling a little hungry." 

"Okay...do you want me to get it for you, or can you walk by yourself now?" 

"I would rather rest my feet more." 

"Fine. I'll get you something, too." 

"You don't even know what I want." 

"I think I can manage it." Ziggy gave a soft smile as they reached the top of the escalator. "Okay, back up again." He crouched down and grabbed the back of her knees, lifting her up as he crouched forwards. The motion jerked her head forwards, her jaw resting against his shoulder again. "Alright, here we go..." He commented in a labored tone. 

He slowly walked her to a table set and propped her up in one of the chairs before going to get his lunch. Dr. K hung her head and relaxed, falling asleep again. 

The sound of the crowds around her drew her thoughts back to the droning sounds of dozens of computer fans rotating and cooling synchronously as numerous fingertips glided over keyboards, clicking away as they created thousands of lines of code a minute. A quick sip of water, and back to work, diagramming, charting, plotting... 

Then everything fell to darkness. One by one, everything just stopped. The calming glow of blacklit screens dimmed to nothingness. The typing fingers ceased as panic set in, the fans quieted and in mere moments...silence. Her eyes shot open as her heart raced. 

Ziggy was sitting across from her, a plate of somewhat inedible food sitting in front of him. In front of her sat a bottle of some kind of fruity sports drink and a pair of oatmeal raisin cookies in a bright purple plastic wrapping. 

"Are those okay?" He asked. "I couldn't find the breakfast bars you eat in the quick-stop shop, so-" 

"They'll do." She replied, her voice wavering slightly as she collected her thoughts into the now, forgetting the past as best as she could. Right now, she was trapped in a mall with someone she frankly didn't care for, no matter how hard he was trying to make her enjoy his company. 

She sighed and unwrapped the cookies first after reading the ingredients list. Nothing looked organic in the least, but it was loaded with sugar. She slowly inched it towards her mouth and took a bite. The cookie was partially stale, perpetually stuck in the middle between naturally chewy and dried-out crunchy, but the well-balanced taste made up for it. She chewed a little harder to bypass the staleness and continued eating it. After a few bites, she opened the strawberry drink, also surely made with nothing but chemicals and heavily processed ingredients, and took a sip. It tasted powdery and left a funny taste in her mouth after swallowing it, making her quickly go back to the dying cookie. 

She sighed; at least her oatmeal bars had flecks of real oatmeal on top and little dehydrated chunks of fruit in the jelly-like paste filling. But he was trying, as he always did; if only he could get to actually succeeding on a regular basis, she wouldn't worry so much about the predicament he had put her in by bonding with the Series Green morpher. 

"How is it?" 

"I've eaten worse." 

Ziggy just shook his head in acknowledgement, knowing he had failed again. He went back to his meal in silence as Dr. K examined his plate. 

"I'm afraid to ask what you're eating, but I'm concerned. It doesn't look like anything people should be eating." 

"It's linguine and white clam sauce. My grandmother used to make this and I haven't had it since I was little. It's not perfect, but I've had worse." He smiled weakly. 

"Oh. I do advise against eating anything with animals in it." 

"You one of those...vegetarian people?" 

"No, they've been pumping food-grade livestock with anti-radiation vaccines and antibiotics ever since Venjix created the nuclear winter outside. The kind of things you can't cook out of meat that is very likely carcinogenic in the human body." 

Ziggy looked down at his plate, shrugged, then continued eating. 

The rest of their dining went by in silence, much to Dr. K's delight. She looked at the watch she had brought with her as Ziggy finished his meal; ten minutes, thirty-seven seconds. 

"So what are we doing now?" Dr. K asked. 

"Ugh...whatever you want to do." 

"I'm out of ideas." 

"...You wanna shop for shoes? I'm sure...whatever it is you bought in the lingerie shop would go great with a pair of heels." 

"Heels? You mean high heels?" 

"High heels, stilettos, whatever floats your boat." 

"...You're highly vulgar and inappropriate, but then again, you are good friends with Series Black, so I'm frankly not surprised." She stood up. "Anyways, high heels and stilettos are very impractical." 

"And that skirt's very practical?" Ziggy pointed inside her robe at her school uniform skirt. 

"It's part of a uniform. Uniforms, by definition, are impractical 99% of the time and more for representing an organization rather than feeling comfortable." 

"Which explains why our bio-microfiber-whatever suits fit and breathe like spandex." 

Dr. K's eyes widened as she lunged forwards, grabbing hold of the table edge. "They are, for the last time-" 

"I know, I know! Not spandex. I'm just saying that they fit and breathe like them...they're kind've impractical, given that I feel like I'm bathing in my own sweat after a really stressful fight in the blazing sun, and every once in a while, a good kick will lodge my boxers up my-" 

"I get the picture quite clearly without further visual aids." Dr. K sat down. 

"Okay...hm. If not shoe shopping, then...how about we just window shop for another nine minutes?" 

"Fine with me, just so long as you refrain from playing superhero to girls and their shoe problems." 

The two made their way out of the food court and out into the rest of the mall. They passed a toy store and Ziggy dove in at the sight of action figures of him and his fellow Rangers, buying one of each of them and grinning madly. Dr. K just crossed her arms and watched half in shame and half in interest as he took a moment to play with the kids who were playing a few out-of-package toys, pointing out how awesome the Series Green Ranger and his Tail Spinner zord was. 

As they continued walking, Ziggy took the figures from their protective packaging, taking time to hold the figure of him up. "How cool is this? Huh? Huh! I have an action figure! Of me! Me! Kids have a figure of me, in their house!" 

"No, they have a figure of Ranger Series Green in their house. And that toy is far too muscular to be you, anyways." 

Ziggy looked it over. "Also a bit too tall, but hey, what guy would complain about a couple of extra inches?" He snorted. 

"Definitely too much time-spending with Series Black." She crossed her arms. 

"...I don't get it." 

"Doesn't surprise me. What's not to get? You and him have a very juvenile sense of humor and civility." 

"No...You'll call Dillon Series Black, but me Ziggy." 

"No, I call you Ranger Green, sometimes Series Green..." 

"But you've called me by name before!" 

"Before the unfortunate incident that inducted you into Project Ranger, yes. Does that make you happy?" 

"Better than nothing." 

Dr. K sighed. "I don't want to get personal with any of you, and names are very personal." 

"Ah, so that explains the Dr. K thing; very impersonal." 

"Correct." 

"That's a shame. I'm sure your first name is a nice name. Or maybe something plain, I don't know. Higgins is a nice last name..." 

"I'd prefer you not spread that around." 

"Your secret's safe with me...Dr. K." 

"I appreciate it." 

Ziggy's morpher beeped, and Dillon's voice called out from it. "Where are you two?" 

Ziggy stopped moving and answered. "We're near the front entrance. We'll be out in a minute." 

"Hurry up. I'm parked in a crosswalk." 

"Got it." Ziggy looked over at Dr. K. "You heard the man." 

"Both of you are troublemakers with no respect of authority." 

"Not everyone follows everything." Ziggy reminded her as he walked towards the door. 

She stood there, looking at him in a wild curiosity. Lawlessness bound within the law, dealing out a strange form of justice and protecting peace from within hearts plagued with chaos. Maybe learning the natures of Series Green and Black was worth it to fully utilize their efficiency within the team. 

"...Thank you." Her voice made him turn around. 

"...What're you thanking me for?" 

"Thank you for this outing. I think I've learned a lot today about you...Ziggy." 

"...You just called me Ziggy." His eyes widened as she approached. "You just called me by my name!" She continued walking past him silently, out the door and towards Dillon's car. 

Ziggy ran up behind her as she stopped in front of the car, staring at the handle with disgust. Ziggy opened the door and pushed the car seat forwards. "Go ahead, go in." 

Dr. K gave a nauseated look as she tried not to touch anything on the way into the backseat of Dillon's car. It was musky and cluttered, the upholstery wearing thin in places. She coughed and quickly flung herself onto the seat. 

Ziggy began pushing the seat back into place, but Dillon took his lollipop out of his mouth and cleared his throat. Ziggy poked his head in, and Dillon gave him a look suggesting that he wasn't allowed in front...at least for the moment. "...Oh." He crawled into the back, staying a considerable distance away from the shuddering Dr. K. 

As Dillon revved the engine, he adjusted the rearview and looked at the two of them. "You two comfortable back there?" 

"This car is disgusting." Dr. K replied. 

"Wonderful! Ziggy?" 

"I'm fine." 

"Good. Prepare for a nice long drive!" 

"Ooh! Do you want your action figure now or later?" Ziggy dug through his bag. 

"Action figure? What am I, ten?" 

Ziggy held up the Series Black figure, and Dillon turned his head and gave a look. "There's tons of them in the toy store. We're celebrities!" 

"Wonderful." He deadpanned.


End file.
